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[personal profile] avevale_intelligencer
(Scene: the FOREST. SNOW WHITE lies in her crystal casket, unmoving, unbreathing. Around her stand the DWARVES, in attitudes betokening grief. Suddenly the PRINCE, on horseback, bursts into the clearing, dismounts and strides to the casket. With one smooth, graceful movement, he lifts the lid, bends forward and kisses SNOW WHITE on the lips.

Nothing happens.

He tries again. Still nothing. And again, with more passion.)


GRUMPY: You can be arrested for that, you know.

PRINCE: But...but she isn't waking up.

SLEEPY: Of course not. She's dead.

BASHFUL: The queen gave her a poisoned apple. Poison kills you, you know.

PRINCE: But...but I fought the queen. I killed her. This...this isn't how it's supposed to go.

HAPPY: Look at it this way. At least you gave her one good day. And hope. Hope's important.

DOC: And you've learned a valuable lesson today. Some things can't be fixed.

PRINCE: I already knew that. I'm twenty years old, thank you.

DOC: Ah, there's no substitute for showing you. Most people's deaths aren't nearly as useful as hers. She should be grateful. If she was alive, that is. And so should you, young man.

PRINCE: Gratefu--? Look, I was told this was a fairy tale.

BASHFUL: A dark fairy tale.

PRINCE: What does that even mean?

HAPPY: And it'll be a fairy tale again next week, when someone complains that the plot's stupid and derivative and the characters are simplistic.

SNEEZY: They like to ha...have it bo...bo...bo...*ATCHOO* both ways.

(The DWARVES laugh, as they always do when SNEEZY sneezes)

PRINCE: I'm going to talk to my agent. (and he storms out)

DOC: Some people just don't get it.

GRUMPY: Can we bury this thing now? It's starting to stink.

HAPPY: Ah, the realism.

(And the DWARVES go off to fetch shovels, whistling "Hi Ho" as they go.)

Apologies to those who hate it when I disable comments, but I really have now said all I want to say about this thing, and there will be no more. And to those who don't know what "this thing" is, be happy. Or sleepy, or grumpy, or...

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