Forebodings

[avevale_intelligencer]

Who said that we would know, this time? They lied.
Despite the lessons of two thousand years
He came again to save us, and he died.

Once long ago, by peaceful Jordan's side,
The song of angels blended with his tears.
Who said that we would know, this time? They lied.

Palm-strewn his path on that last fateful ride.
Amid the unsuspecting people's cheers,
He came again to save us, and he died.

Through tickertape we saw the limo glide,
"Hail to the Chief" resounding in our ears.
Who said that we would know, this time? They lied.

A single man among the human tide--
A single shot, and all hope disappears.
He came again to save us, and he died.

This death, by no redemption sanctified,
Condemns us all to face our darkest fears.
Who said that we would know, this time? They lied.
He came again to save us, and he died.

No, of course I don't think Obama is the Second Coming, though I don't think it particularly matters to the poem whether he actually is or not.

My first villanelle ever. What do you think?

Comments

[hurdle1gal.livejournal.com]

Well done.

[jahura.livejournal.com]

Obama actually didn't come to mind for me - I saw JFK the first time, then MLK the second read-through.

Beautiful job. I bow unto your awesomeness.

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

Either of those interpretations works just as well. In the end, we're all the Second Coming if we choose to be.

And as for awesomeness, go thou and do likewise. I know you can. :)

[pbristow.livejournal.com]

I think... that there's a small, irritating pedant at the back of my mind saying "well, *he* did, actually." =:o>

Also: That it's very good. And moving, and challenging, and stuff.

What defines a villanelle? (Says the guy to tired to bother Googling...)

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

Three-line verses, rhymed a-b-a. The first and third lines of the first verse become alternate refrains for the next four verses, and together form the refrain of the last verse, which consequently has an extra line.

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Impressive, and hits the heart.

I thought JFK. That day was my fifteenth birthday.

[min0taur.livejournal.com]

What I think: Poet. You.

The repeated lines resonate differently each time they appear, which is exactly the effect I imagine for a villanelle, yet the language sounds natural to my mind's ear. And I see an archetypal image there, behind the contemporary images of assassination: It seems that nothing so threatens human beings as the kind of love that offers hope and elevates compassion. I don't know why that is -- atavistic evolutionary holdovers, bad chemicals, toxic ideologies? Or does the prospect of transcending our history always terrify us?

On the mundane political level, I do think that if we manage to get sane long enough to elect someone President whose candidacy is already larger-than-life historic who also happens to be a thoughtful and compassionate person, our next great test will be keeping him well enough protected to become an elder statesman. I hope we pass the audition.

[batyatoon]

I love villanelles and this is a thoroughly beautiful one.

And terrifying and tragic. Attempts are inevitable; I pray to God none of them succeed.

[the-alchemist.livejournal.com]

Ooh, villanelles are sexy and I really like this one.