The Lost Goats, 54a

Zander, by dislocating several joints and partly collapsing his lungs, had made himself a little less uncomfortable than a human hogtied and hung from the ceiling would have been. He had run the scenarios, and there was really no advantage in freeing himself.

If he did, then there would be the fighting, and the chasing, and (space being limited) his things would get knocked over and broken, and Snood and Jenny still had the gun and could always take out one of his kneecaps. It was only his good behaviour up to now that had prevented the woman doing so when she first had him covered; that, and Snood's vestigial compunction about up-close violence. If he could get the gun away from them, he could do the same to them, but he had no particular urge to: his anger against them on Soren's account had ended when he had tight-beamed the formula for the counter-agent to Probity on Otslag, before dumping the coup file. He couldn't kill them, and from what he knew of Jenny's type at least, the more you did to her the more certain it became that only death would stop her taking her vengeance.

If he stayed where he was, on the other hand, they would have to untie him to get him to land the ship, which would disarm their suspicions, and then they would be on Wuk, which would open up a lot more options. Also, Zander had no doubt that Galen and the forces of law and order would be in hot pursuit, and they too would prefer to catch the miscreants in their lair. When that happened, Zander would prefer the opportunity to put some distance between them and him, of the sort that could not be found in a two-Nyrond smallship.

Accordingly, Zander continued to dangle, while Snood and Jenny slept.

The Lost Goats, 55

"We've got a bearing," Galen reported, as he entered the lab. "They're headed for Wuk."

"Wuk?" Probity queried. "That's not a very informative name."

"Story goes the scout captain was about to name the planet when his tie got caught in the navigational gyro," Dik said, with a grin.

"That doesn't sound very plausible." Probity frowned. "Are you sure it's not a humorous anecdote?"

"Not that humorous," An remarked, "apparently."

"How did you get a bearing on them?" Cesar said. "Zander's ship's beacon's turned off. Mine's not got one, far as I can tell."

"Dik tagged the Nyrond counter-agent," An said. "Soren was broadcasting a regular pulse on seventy-seven point one five nine THz right up till about two minutes ago."

"Which would be when the last of it got metabolised," Dik said, "and can we say king of the lab?"

"But we're sure of the heading," Galen said. "Wuk is where Snood was hiding out, where he captured Adhemar. It's also a known pirate base. With the Poppo threat now neutralised, the Vigil can clean it out for us."

"I think you're relying rather too heavily on the Vigil," Imbiss said, forestalling an explosion from Cesar. "They have no actual official standing, after all. They're basically a very well organised and privately funded neighbourhood watch group wiith quasi-religious pretensions, and people tolerate them because they're occasionally helpful, but their group psychopathology is extremely dubious."

Probity snorted. "What the witch doctor here should say is that--"

"Viscera, stop it," Galen said. "I get all that. They're not the kind of people I want to owe too many favours to either, but Wuk is basically lawless and we need ground troops."

"All right," Cesar conceded with ill grace, "but I'm calling in my own troops. Don't want anyone arrested accidentally, do we?"

"More Nyronds?"

"Every one I can get," Cesar said. "Reckon at least three of 'em owe Zander and Soren a favour." He produced his N-band com unit from a pocket and moved away, speaking into it in a voice too low to be heard.

"Well," Jonquil Hedaya said, "this should be fun."

The Lost Goats: Outtakes

( Just a few, for those who like that sort of thing... )

The Lost Goats, 56

The smallship touched down on the slush-covered plycrete of Wuk's landing field.

"You will show me how to fly this thing," Snood remarked pleasantly, as he re-tied Zander's wrists.

"Will I indeed?" Zander replied. "Well, it's not easy, you know."

"One thing's for certain, you'll never fly it again," Jenny said, taking the rope attached to Zander's halter. "Come along."

They walked, the Nyrond, the pirate and the former lottery owner, towards the forbidding-looking bar where Zander and Soren had first encountered Definitely-Not-A-Good-Samaritan Jenny. The place was deserted, though Zander foresaw some unpleasant congestion when the remaining ships of Jenny's so-called fleet touched down all at once. Jenny led them through into the small back room, and pulled a section of the wall open to reveal steps leading down.

"This way," she said, and in response to Zander's quizzical look, "You surely didn't really buy the whole Tortuga bit, did you? Running a fleet this size takes organisation."

"I noticed," Zander said. "Should get easier, though, as more of them come to their senses. I heard you haranguing them."

"And I'll do it again if I have to." The steps debouched on a well-lit metal-walled corridor with double doors at one end.

"Two harangues don't make a right, you know--oof!" Snood had pushed him viciously in the back. Zander stumbled, and decided to shut up.

"Very impressive," he said, as the double doors slid smoothly open...

The Lost Goats, 57

"Oh, no you won't," Zander said suddenly, freeing his wrists with a decisive flick. "I'm getting rather tired of all these threats. You don't really think you've got me, do you? My dear little cut-price pirate, I've got you. Don't you see? You're all alone, and every human hand in this galaxy is turned against you. Your fleet is crumbling under you, the Vigil is converging on this pathetic little planet, and all thanks to me." He laughed. "You're helpless, aren't you? Impotent. You and your boy friend are doomed. Your little crime spree is over. And as for strip-mining my brain--" He moved to the console Jenny had indicated, pressed a switch and spoke in ringing tones. "All Nyronds in sector, converge on Wuk system. Disperse pirate fleet and render assistance on planet."

He turned back to Jenny and Snood, who were frozen in place, looking stricken. "You think you understand Nyronds, but you haven't a hope. We've lived for millions of years, and we remember those who lived when your species was a line of code in God's first draft. The merest shaving from the surface of my brain would make yours explode. So let's have no more swaggering and bullying, shall we?" He advanced on Jenny and twitched the gun out of her hand. "Behave nicely and--"

"Get him!" Jenny shouted, snapping the spell, and the henchmen (including Louisa, whose parents had never liked him) abandoned theiri tasks and advanced on Zander, drawing various weapons. And it was at this point that alarms began whooping all over the control room.

That was lucky, Zander thought. I was a bit stuck for a punch line.
********

Galen, Probity and An, followed by a troop of Vigilante grunts (well, mostly grunts, with a few mumbles and mutters and a couple of burps thrown in), made their way through the bar, through the back room and down the steps. Above them, in the nearby space, various pirate ships were either being vigorously searched by other Vigil ships, or surrounded by a host of small vessels which had battened on to them purporting to offer fresh food, drink and other essential services, and had then by arcane means rendered the ship's drives, weaponry and communications systems inert.

"I don't understand why we're here," Probity observed, as she and Galen led the way down the corridor.

"I'm here," Galen said, "because the Vigil Commander doesn't trust me, and you're here because you wouldn't let me come alone. I have no clue why she's here." He jerked his head at An, who smiled sweetly back at him.

*********

"Attention, pirates of Wuk." The voice that boomed over the speakers in the control room was harsh and deep, and managed not to sound silly even saying the word "Wuk." "This planet is now under the jurisdiction of the Galactic Vigilante Corps. All persons on said planet are now detained pending formal arrest procedures, on charges to be determined. Troops are on the way. Cease all activity and await collection."

With an inarticulate cry, Snood leapt up and bolted from the room by one of the other exits. Jenny and Zander watched him go.

"Well," Jenny said philosophically, "it was a good run." She stuck out her hand. Zander smiled, but made no move to take it, and she retrieved it ruefully. The henchpersons, less phlegmatic, abandoned their advance on Zander and adopted a defensive posture as the double doors burst open and Galen, An and Probity leapt to either side to make room for the troops. Immediately the air was filled with that cheerfully undirected sort of gunfire that happens on such occasions, henchpersons and Vigilantes blasting away in all directions without restraint. Everyone who was not shooting proceeded to duck and cover in the traditionally approved manner.

Galen, crouched over, darted through the crossfire, grabbed Jenny, and handed her over to the commander of the Vigilantes, who was close on his heels. He nodded to Zander, who tapped him on the shoulder, leapt up, and raced off in pursuit of Snood.

********

Snood, for his part, was leaning against the metal wall of another stretch of corridor, drawing great heaving gulps of air, sweat-soaked and dishevelled. He had insisted on Jenny installing this particular escape route, but the distance involved, even going as the mole flies rather than following the wandering mountain trails, was further than he had realised.

Just a little further, and he would be safe. He forced himself onward. The sounds of gunfire and screams had died away behind him, but in his imagination he heard them vividly, pictured the hordes of gun-waving troopers pursuing him, vehicles homing in on his position by land and air, hard-eyed officers barking orders. What the Nyrond had said was true. Every man's hand was against him. He had dared to reach for the prize that should have been his by right, and now the universe was--

The ladder. He reached up and pulled himself up rung by rung, opened the trapdoor and heaved himself up into the cellar of his home. Safety at last. He closed and bolted the trap, climbed the stairs and went from door to window, making sure all were secure. Something was hanging in the stairwell, something he was not going to look at, not yet. He brushed past it.

It was as he was returning from the upper floors that he heard the sound, and his heart froze. He was not alone. He was locked in with--

He raced for his study and the desk therein, where he kept the fellow to the gun he had left with Jenny. He brushed past the thing in the stairwell, threw himself into the room and yanked open the drawer--

"Hello, Pervilious Snood," said Soren, the gun levelled squarely between Snood's eyes. "Mind if I join you?"