Sucks to be right

I've never derived the slightest satisfaction from simply being right about anything. Life has been at pains to teach me that being right is nothing to get cocky about, that being wrong is nicer and more comfortable and gets you more friends. But it still keeps happening to me, no matter how hard I try.

Case in point. ( (No names, no pack drill, if you don't know already you don't need to know.) )

Thanks for listening. Or for clicking on by, if that was your choice.

Another fairy tale debunked.

"So let me get this right," said the farmer's wife. "You came here asking for food and lodging for the night."

The scrawny little man nodded.

"And we told you we hadn't any food."

Nod.

"And you said not to worry, you had a magic stone that would make a tasty soup..."

Nod.

"If we put it in some water..."

Nod.

"With an onion, and a couple of carrots, and maybe some herbs, and a turnip or two."

Nod.

The farmer's wife narrowed her eyes. "Tell me," she said, "what part of 'We haven't got any food' did you not understand?"

"Thank you, Tilda," said Dracul von Ryan, as the dark-skinned woman finished her tale. "All right, children, what would you say was the moral of that upliftin' little anecdote?"

Wayne raised his hand. "Poor people ain't stupid."

"Well, I'm sure some are. Heaven forbid that I should deprive any man or woman on this green earth of his or her sacred and inalienable right to be a berk. But the story, the original story, was never really about poor people, or for poor people, because as you will doubtless point out, poor people don't have any food that they've forgotten about. If they've got it, they've either eaten it or they're saving it for next week. These people, in this story, are well-off people who happen to have forgotten to top up the housekeepin' that week and thus find themselves temporarily embarrassed when it comes to poppin' down to Tesco and buyin' half a pig."

"Well," Frankie said, "there's nothing that says all fairy stories have to be about poor people."

"Ah, but it's told as if it were about poor people, because it reinforces the two things rich people like best to tell themselves about poor people. One, that they're poor because they're stupid, and B, that they've got everything they need if they just look around themselves. That means, Frankie my child, that there's no obligation on the rich people to do anything to help them. Yes, 'Stone Soup' is capitalist propaganda of the vilest possible stripe. I discard it, and I urge you all to do likewise." Dracul nodded emphatically. "And now, to more congenial topics. How went the foraging?"

Various members of the coven mumbled uneasily and shook their heads.

"Ah well," Dracul said, rummaging in his rucksack. "Fortunately, I happen to have this magical catering-size tin..."