Something else to say

[avevale_intelligencer]

EDIT: I'm serious about this. Janet is the injured party here. She suffered far more than I did, and "thank you for saving Zander," while very nice for me, makes her feel as if she doesn't matter except as a sort of accessory to me. Please let her know that's not true.

Again, her email is countess DOT axylides AT sky DOT com.

I have deleted the "suicide note" post.

However, there was one thing in it which needed saying and still does. I am overwhelmed and thankful for all the people who have sent me love and good wishes, but there is someone who both needs and deserves them far more. Janet has had to put up with:

the original situation, which was bad enough;
my lying about it, which was worse;
my suicide attempt;
being dragged off to hospital and stuck there for three full days with nothing to do, read, or wear, when there was nothing wrong with her (apart from the usual), while they pulled me back from the abyss.
And let's bear in mind she had a choice. I am still here because she saved me.

We are doing our best to make a clean start, so if I may ask, let this be a part of it.

Janet is far more than "just" my wife, as if that weren't enough.

And she has never given up on life.

If you think I am a good and worthwhile person, how much more is she.

Let her know that.

Comments

[eoforyth.livejournal.com]

Jon, I'm not so good with phone calls but if Jan needs me to call, I will. I don't know if she can cope with emails anymore as a contact point (I know I'm having trouble, and at least one of my eyes is still within the normal range). I've not really known where I stand with her after my fit due to the high anxiety I was under in that situation, I've not heard from her at all since then, but if it might still be appreciated to have me write the old-fashioned way, I will. Let me know

Hugs to you both, and healing thoughts to you, too.

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

I think she has been feeling exactly the same, and would love to hear from you in any way that's easiest for you. Email is fine.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. It's thanks to her we still have you. I can't comment on the details of the situation because I don't know them, and I'm not linked to Jan at all on social media, but she has my heartfelt thanks, my good wishes, and my sincere hopes that you and she are both getting the support you so desperately need.

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

I'd like to second what you have said. I came slightly late to this because I was busy with other things but I'm so relieved you're still here and I do hope your are getting all the help you should (and that you need).

[valydiarosada.livejournal.com]

I will be writing to Jan, and I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch before. But too many people that I know have died already this year, and that was just in January. But I'm so glad you're still alive.

[sometimeskate.livejournal.com]

I haven't a clue what to say to this saintly woman who apparently has far more patience than I shall ever posses. But she is obviously full of highly admirable traits and massive amount of perserverence, and I find this very impressive.

I understand you not wanting people thanking her because of you, but I'm not sure how else to frame it, since I've not yet had the honour of making her acquaintance. (for that matter, I don't know you terribly well, and only dare this due to a long talk we had about various icky bits of my background)

I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm glad she was there for you. I do thank her for saving you, and for being an amazing human being. I wish her much peace and joy and foot rubs and peeled grapes. (And I hope you keep on this side of the abyss. My pet theory is if I can't do it, no one can, and I can't.)