Date: 2014-08-03 12:22 pm (UTC)
It's not just you.

My own exploration of the problem of evil leads me to another theory. Evil arises from the human capacity for choice, i.e. free will: nothing that is not human (that we know of) can be "evil" as such. God gave us that capacity*, knowing that it would bring evil into the world, but unable in conscience to do anything else, just as a parent lets their child go out into the world knowing that it may suffer harm, or even do harm, but that it must make its own choices. It doesn't mean the parent loves the child any the less; in fact it's a hard choice that actually demonstrates the depth of that love. So with God, if God exists.

A related problem is that humans (including the ones who write religious books) arrive at their own definitions of evil, often wrongly, and their own conceptions of the nature of deity, often flawed. My own hypothetical conception is no more likely to be right than anyone else's; the only thing I can say in its defence is that it makes sense to me.

I believe that some of my friends are speaking truthfully, or at least honestly, when they say they have a "sense" of something they call God. Knowing how often human beings are born lacking in one sense or another, and how there are other senses we don't usually acknowledge and of which we may not even be consciously aware, I find it entirely credible that there could be such a sense, possessed only by some and unrecognised by others, and that it might be perceiving something real. Sadly, I don't seem to have it, but there's enough testimony to make it at least worth considering that others might.

None of which constitutes anything like a "eureka" argument, but it's enough to persuade me to keep my mind open to the possibility.

*In fact, as I read the parable of Eden, he allowed us to make the choice to acquire "the knowledge of good and evil," i.e. the capacity to sense what seems "wrong" to us and still to choose to do it. The act of disobedience completed us as moral beings and freed us, in a way. It's a tricky thing to talk about, but it makes more sense to me this way.
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