Trailer

[avevale_intelligencer]

(Urgent, pulsing music.)

Caption: SCIENTISTS

SALLY: (reading off instruments): "Thirteen point four...thirteen point five..."
CHRIS: "Receptor B locked."

Caption: SPACESHIPS

A space shuttle lifts off from the surface of the moon.

Caption: GANGSTERS

FIRST MENACING THUG: "...you want it the hard way..."
BENNY: "They call me Benny the Bop."

Caption: PIRATES

DRACUL (as Red von Ryan): "Clap on all sail and make speed!"
SPANISH DAN'L: "Oh, hel-lo."

Caption: GUARDS

GUARD (wearing full-head snake mask): "You wouldn't shoot me. You're only a girl."
ALLIE reaches down and squeezes something out of shot. The GUARD reacts.

Caption: HEROES

CAPTAIN BEDLAM, on his robot unicorn, rears up as lightning illuminates him.
VOICE: "'T is Captain Bedlam!"
MIDSHIPMAN RACE (lounging behind a desk): "Hello, Captain."

Caption: VILLAINS

OPERATIVE ONE: "Why am I always surrounded by idiots?"
MacAIKEN: "That's a very drastic accusation, Chris. How were you planning to prove it?"

Caption: DRACUL von RYAN AND THE KHAOS KOVEN

ALLIE: "Find the wee girlie. She's the key."
DIK: "This guy's in trouble and you're picking up the Lone Ranger."
MARSHA (wielding frying pan): "I just want you to know that Jesus loves you."
WAYNE: "That rings a bell."
DRACUL rings the bell of the bus three times.
TILDA: "You are a very wicked man, Dracul von Ryan."
FRANKIE; (to TILDA's dolls) "I don't suppose any of you know kung fu?"
RACHEL KWOK: "This world is not very well organised."

Caption: OONAVERSE

Montage, accelerando:
A cannonball blows a hole in the side of a sailing ship.
A spacesuited figure floats helplessly away from the shuttle.
The robot unicorn fires twin laser beams from its eyes.
MacAIKEN points a weaponlike machine. The muzzle glows red.
The camera pans across a thousand snake-masked GUARDS, in serried ranks.
A control console slides to one side, revealing a sinister chair.
A pickup truck peels away from the kerb and weaves through traffic at top speed.
A spaceship hurtles towards the earth, its nose glowing white hot.
A house explodes in a ball of flame, throwing several FIGURES into the air.

DRACUL: "What in the bright blue bouncing bejasus is goin' on here?"

Caption: OONAVERSE

The same house, dilapidated but unexploded.

Caption: THE LATEST ADVENTURE

SALLY, staring in open-mouthed horror.

Caption: BY JONATHAN WAITE

CHRIS, looking determined, just before he falls into a ditch.

Caption: OUT NOW

STEVE, pinioned by two snake-masked GUARDS.

Caption: http://www.avevale.org/

FADE OUT

Originally posted on http://avevale_intelligencer.dreamwidth.org. Comment here or there or both if you wish.

Comments

[hurdle1gal.livejournal.com]

Based on how hilarious some of those one-liners are, I have to get it as a PDF for my kindle. :-)

My favorite:

OPERATIVE ONE: "Why am I always surrounded by idiots?"
MacAIKEN: "That's a very drastic accusation, Chris. How were you planning to prove it?"

[hurdle1gal.livejournal.com]

Question - is there a way to download it all as 1 PDF, or should I just compile all 24 parts together on my own?

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

I will be happy to email you the whole thing (which is 29 parts--you get the last five before they go up on the site) as a pdf. Just let me know the @ddress. If you can manage a small donation via Paypal, that would be very much appreciated, but it's not compulsory.

[hurdle1gal.livejournal.com]

How large would the compiled package be? I know some emails have attachment limits, which is why I ask.

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

The pdf weighs in at 808 kB. Should be doable.

[hurdle1gal.livejournal.com]

Message sent.