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avevale_intelligencerThe hedgehogs, whose names were U, V and W (because X, Y and Z had been taken) watched nervously as Zander and Agrael helped Powers set up the high wire.
"So," Agrael said, bracing his shoulder against the upright, "now that you feel once again inclined to give other people some talking room--"
"Lord a mighty, a talking room, it's a miracle, step right up yere folks and see the amazing talking room, only five cents admission, dirty words round the back for adults only cost you a quarter, you ain't seen nothing like it--"
"Realtime," Agrael said in his special growl.
"That's me," Realtime said, and broke into song.
"IIIII'm Magus A Realtime,
By trade I'm an archangel
And anything you arrange'll
Be perfectly fine with me--"
"Shut," Agrael said through his teeth.
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, don't tell me, lemme guess..." Realtime went into the classic mentalist pose. "Up. Am I right?"
"Ten out of ten, Magus, now please do it," Zander said. "Yes. The phrase 'cop out' cropped up recently somewhere, and it's something else that occasionally bothers me."
"Go on," Agrael said. "We need a little more than that." He slapped the upright twice. It held. The wire was now stretched none too tightly between it and its fellow on the other side of the tent.
"Classically," Zander said, "to cop out, if I understand it correctly, is to weaken at the last minute, to disappoint, to fail to meet expectation in some way."
"Yes indeed," Melies said.
"Not copping out is seen as good, copping out as bad."
"Sounds straightforward to me," Powers said, pushing aside the flap of the tent and entering with a flourish. Zander burst out laughing, Rob Fayne shaded his eyes and Agrael turned away with a disgusted snarl.
"It's a perfectly good leotard," Powers said. "It covers all the bits, or it would if I had any."
"It's a little...striking," Zander managed.
"No, just working to rule," Powers replied. "Negotiations are continuing, but I'm a bit wary of getting it around a table in case it loses its shape. Are my little compadres ready?"
U, V and W duly jumped up and down and went "whee!", though there was a slight edge of uncertainty in their tone.
"But what bothers me," Zander continued, "is that it seems to me that in some quarters it's seen as copping out if the good guys win."
"Unicycle, unicycle," Powers said.
"Are you just being non-linear or--" Zander stopped as Rob reached down beside his armchair and handed Powers the vehicle in question. "Oh, I see. Erm. Yes. The heroes are supposed to be pitted against impossible odds. The audience, the readers, whatever, are supposed to think that the bad guys can't help but win, or the disaster is inevitable. I'm just not sure that letting the bad guys win, or letting the disaster happen, is better than the reverse."
"Two things," Agrael said. "First, the victory has to be logically possible. Second, there has to be a price. If either of those two elements aren't present, then yes, it's a copout."
"I see that," Zander said.
"I would say rather," Melies said, "that the victory has to be achieved without compromise, and that something has to be learned."
"Without compromise?" Agrael laughed. "You live in a fantasy world, old man."
"Yes," Melies said placidly, "and so do you."
Powers was now ascending the ladder, unicycle strapped on his back. "If anyone's interested," he said, "I am now about to attempt the most death-defying feat known to man."
"Bit pointless since you can't die," Rob remarked, without looking up.
"I shall ignore the heckling from the peanut gallery," Powers said. "Somebody put the hedgehogs in the basket, will you?"
"For my money," Rob said to Zander, "the victory has to leave the world permanently better off, not be just a temporary fix. Apart from that, I agree with Agrael and Melies."
"Okay, but there are other ways of copping out or not copping out. For example, some authors use random character death to show that their stories are gritty and serious. What do you think about that?"
"Random character death?" Rob said, paling.
"I'm against it," Melies said.
"A pointless gesture," Agrael snapped.
"Not my sort of thing at all," Rob added.
"Nor mine," Powers called, winching the apprehensive hedgehogs up in their basket.
"But you wouldn't, say, kill a character off and then bring him or her back?"
"In a story? That would be copping out," Melies remarked. "If the story requires a death, then it should be final. Anything else is just--just--"
"Ready," Powers said. "Can I have a drum roll please?"
"Only got sourdough," Realtime called back. "You want mayo on that?"
Powers, atop his unicycle, set off across the wire, juggling the hedgehogs. Zander made fairground-organ music through his pursed lips, and Rob and the others watched.
A small wild-haired figure in a baggy sweater with a G on the front stepped through the tent flap and struck a large gong.
"Come and get it!" he called, in a high, cracked voice.
Powers wobbled wildly, almost lost his balance, flailed his arms frantically and dropped a hedgehog. It was V. It plummeted through the air, turning over and over, the hard-packed earth looming ever closer--
--and Zander caught it in the palm of his hand.
"A perfect ending," Melies said. "No compromise--"
"Logically possible--" Agrael added.
"Something has been learned--"
"And there was definitely a price."
"But is the world permanently the better for the saving of a hedgehog?" Rob wondered.
"Ask the hedgehog," Zander said through his teeth, as V sighed with relief and mopped its brow. "Now, can someone please help me to the first aid box?"
"So," Agrael said, bracing his shoulder against the upright, "now that you feel once again inclined to give other people some talking room--"
"Lord a mighty, a talking room, it's a miracle, step right up yere folks and see the amazing talking room, only five cents admission, dirty words round the back for adults only cost you a quarter, you ain't seen nothing like it--"
"Realtime," Agrael said in his special growl.
"That's me," Realtime said, and broke into song.
"IIIII'm Magus A Realtime,
By trade I'm an archangel
And anything you arrange'll
Be perfectly fine with me--"
"Shut," Agrael said through his teeth.
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, don't tell me, lemme guess..." Realtime went into the classic mentalist pose. "Up. Am I right?"
"Ten out of ten, Magus, now please do it," Zander said. "Yes. The phrase 'cop out' cropped up recently somewhere, and it's something else that occasionally bothers me."
"Go on," Agrael said. "We need a little more than that." He slapped the upright twice. It held. The wire was now stretched none too tightly between it and its fellow on the other side of the tent.
"Classically," Zander said, "to cop out, if I understand it correctly, is to weaken at the last minute, to disappoint, to fail to meet expectation in some way."
"Yes indeed," Melies said.
"Not copping out is seen as good, copping out as bad."
"Sounds straightforward to me," Powers said, pushing aside the flap of the tent and entering with a flourish. Zander burst out laughing, Rob Fayne shaded his eyes and Agrael turned away with a disgusted snarl.
"It's a perfectly good leotard," Powers said. "It covers all the bits, or it would if I had any."
"It's a little...striking," Zander managed.
"No, just working to rule," Powers replied. "Negotiations are continuing, but I'm a bit wary of getting it around a table in case it loses its shape. Are my little compadres ready?"
U, V and W duly jumped up and down and went "whee!", though there was a slight edge of uncertainty in their tone.
"But what bothers me," Zander continued, "is that it seems to me that in some quarters it's seen as copping out if the good guys win."
"Unicycle, unicycle," Powers said.
"Are you just being non-linear or--" Zander stopped as Rob reached down beside his armchair and handed Powers the vehicle in question. "Oh, I see. Erm. Yes. The heroes are supposed to be pitted against impossible odds. The audience, the readers, whatever, are supposed to think that the bad guys can't help but win, or the disaster is inevitable. I'm just not sure that letting the bad guys win, or letting the disaster happen, is better than the reverse."
"Two things," Agrael said. "First, the victory has to be logically possible. Second, there has to be a price. If either of those two elements aren't present, then yes, it's a copout."
"I see that," Zander said.
"I would say rather," Melies said, "that the victory has to be achieved without compromise, and that something has to be learned."
"Without compromise?" Agrael laughed. "You live in a fantasy world, old man."
"Yes," Melies said placidly, "and so do you."
Powers was now ascending the ladder, unicycle strapped on his back. "If anyone's interested," he said, "I am now about to attempt the most death-defying feat known to man."
"Bit pointless since you can't die," Rob remarked, without looking up.
"I shall ignore the heckling from the peanut gallery," Powers said. "Somebody put the hedgehogs in the basket, will you?"
"For my money," Rob said to Zander, "the victory has to leave the world permanently better off, not be just a temporary fix. Apart from that, I agree with Agrael and Melies."
"Okay, but there are other ways of copping out or not copping out. For example, some authors use random character death to show that their stories are gritty and serious. What do you think about that?"
"Random character death?" Rob said, paling.
"I'm against it," Melies said.
"A pointless gesture," Agrael snapped.
"Not my sort of thing at all," Rob added.
"Nor mine," Powers called, winching the apprehensive hedgehogs up in their basket.
"But you wouldn't, say, kill a character off and then bring him or her back?"
"In a story? That would be copping out," Melies remarked. "If the story requires a death, then it should be final. Anything else is just--just--"
"Ready," Powers said. "Can I have a drum roll please?"
"Only got sourdough," Realtime called back. "You want mayo on that?"
Powers, atop his unicycle, set off across the wire, juggling the hedgehogs. Zander made fairground-organ music through his pursed lips, and Rob and the others watched.
A small wild-haired figure in a baggy sweater with a G on the front stepped through the tent flap and struck a large gong.
"Come and get it!" he called, in a high, cracked voice.
Powers wobbled wildly, almost lost his balance, flailed his arms frantically and dropped a hedgehog. It was V. It plummeted through the air, turning over and over, the hard-packed earth looming ever closer--
--and Zander caught it in the palm of his hand.
"A perfect ending," Melies said. "No compromise--"
"Logically possible--" Agrael added.
"Something has been learned--"
"And there was definitely a price."
"But is the world permanently the better for the saving of a hedgehog?" Rob wondered.
"Ask the hedgehog," Zander said through his teeth, as V sighed with relief and mopped its brow. "Now, can someone please help me to the first aid box?"