The Shop, continued
Dec. 15th, 2008 11:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avevale_intelligencer He held out his hand to me, and I took it, and he led me back across the rubbish to where my bike was still leaning. My eyes were still blurry and sore from crying, and I couldn't seem to find my breath. He took the sword out of the saddlebag, and held it for a moment, looking at it. I could see the admiration in his eyes, not for it as a weapon, but simply as a made thing, an object created by someone who knew how to make things useful and beautiful at the same time. We lost that art decades ago.
Then he offered it to me, hilt foremost. I took it. He spread his arms out, and waited.
All I had to do was push the sharp end into him. It was a sure bet he had no identification, would never be traced. Maybe he would sink into the ground the way the bodies did in the game. It was my one chance to stop this invasion. To save the planet. I couldn't understand why he was giving it to me, but I couldn't mistake his intention. There was no-one else around to stop me. All I had to do was kill him.
And I failed. Of course I did. The point of the sword drooped, and I tossed it away. It landed with a clunk on the concrete of the loading bay. He turned and trotted over to retrieve it, brought it back, and offered it to me again, this time sideways with his other hand supporting the blade. A gift. Or the price of fealty.
I took it from him, put it back in the saddlebag, and followed him, wheeling the bike, as he set off towards the mall. At a couple of points he stopped and had to cough, leaning up against a wall. I parked the bike the first time and offered him my inhaler, but he waved it away. Maybe it wouldn't work for him anyway, or maybe it would just make things worse.
He waited while I parked the bike, walked with me to the escalator, undid the shutter and opened the door of the shop. All this time my brain had been in neutral; the furious activity earlier had worn it out, it seemed. There was nothing left to think. I'd failed to save my planet from the invaders. I had come down on the wrong side. All that remained was to do my best for the side I'd chosen, and take the consequences. A crystal weapon wouldn't stand up against the kind of weapons we had in our arsenal. If the mere act of breathing our air was killing Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula, a dose of genetically engineered anthrax would probably do for him and all his friends, including me. And sooner or later we'd find the way into the game world, and then that would become just like ours. I was glad that I'd be dead long before that happened.
I switched on the computer. All I had to do now was finish the mission. Get the blue forces into the citadel, open the way for the conquest of Earth. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula stood behind me, watching me as I prepared to boot up the game. I looked up, and saw a little smile playing around his lips.
I think that did it. I got up from the chair and I let him have it. All the anger, all the fear and all the shame and betrayal came out in a spate of sheer vitriol. I don't remember much of what I actually said, I'm afraid. Just enough to know that it wasn't worth repeating. A lot of stuff came out that was nothing to do with him at all, stuff about the state of the world, about my life, about God, about everything. And the burden, the refrain if you like, was the question I'd been burning to ask since I'd followed him to the waste land. Why? Why? Why?
He stood there, listening, taking it in but not reacting at all, till I had run myself down, run out of breath and out of words and out of energy. Then he came forward and hugged me.
It was like being hugged by a child. One thing that came across quite clearly--this is hard to explain--was that he meant it. That was inescapably obvious. It wasn't a trick to disarm my anger, or anything like that. It was a genuine display of affection, of friendship, of sympathy. He might be on the point of conquering my world, but he really, truly, liked me and wanted me to feel better. And considering some of the things I'd just called him, that was quite an achievement.
When he let me go, I sat down again and got on with the game. There was nothing else I could do.
The army needed rebuilding after the battle yesterday, and I had to do it fast. I had the four ordinary catapults I'd captured, and four enhanced ones I'd been building. I decided to hold those in reserve and use them on his castle once the ordinary ones had breached the walls. My iron mines were failing again and the geologist was going to charge me the earth (ha!) but there was no choice. I paid up and off he went with his spade and his hammer to find me some more.
Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula squeezed my shoulder once, and then went into his office. I could hear Nick and taz out in the shop. Everything was back to normal. Except it wasn't. It couldn't be, ever again.
Liliana came in, pulling off her gloves, and said good morning. I said good morning back, as if it were just another ordinary day.
"What's the matter?" she said at once. So much for my skills at dissimulation.
I beckoned her closer, and she leant down over me, her hand on the back of my chair and her hair tickling my cheek. I was very conscious of incidental things like that for some reason. I started to tell her what I had discovered, and then my brain finally caught up with itself and delivered a sharp mental slap across the face. This was the last thing she needed to be bothered with at this point.
"I've done the same thing you did," I said. "Lost all my army and failed to make a dent."
"That's it?" she said. "I thought it was the end of the world for a moment. Anyway, you said there's a margin for error. You've got to be able to win the game, haven't you?"
I let her jolly me along a bit, and she went out to the shop. I carried on building up the army.
As soon as I'd achieved capacity, I set out for the red settlement, my knight leading the charge, the catapults bringing up the rear. I was functioning on autopilot again; I knew how to do this, I could do it in my sleep. The captured catapults knocked a hole in the wall, my troops surged forward and quelled all resistance, and the crystal-enhanced boulders knocked down red's castle. In another time I could barely remember, that would have been victory and the end of the game. Now it was just a step on the way to a far greater defeat.
I built an outpost on the captured territory and sent the weaponmaster to inspect the remaining weapon. He pronounced it fit for use, and there was nothing else to be done.
The weapons had to be fired in a specific order and within a specific time frame to disable the citadel's defences. I replenished the army, built two more catapults, and sent my knight to the first weapon. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula emerged from his office at that moment, almost as if he knew what was going on. Which, thinking about it, he probably did. He must have some form of communication with the game world in there.
The knight triggered the weapon, and set off for the next one at full speed. I had seconds to get to it and fire it. Meanwhile I brought the army up to the edge of the no-go zone. The knight got there, fired, and set off for the next one. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula was leaning on my chair, and I could feel that tension in him again, vibrating through the plastic. Third weapon fired, off to the fourth, the time allowed getting progressively shorter. One of my squads moved incautiously too close and got zapped: I felt a sort of queasy revulsion, looking at the burnt patch where they had been, imagining that happening to people in this world. I couldn't stop by now, though. I was an impersonal part of the process, as much as the chips in the computer I was playing on. Fourth weapon fired, off to the fifth. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula was holding his breath behind me. The timer ticked down. The knight made it to the last weapon. My hand was clammy on the mouse and I missed the button first time. The weapon fired. All the weapons on the citadel walls drooped and went silent, and another timer started to tick down. I brought my enhanced catapults up and attacked the walls, thinking of the way the sword had drooped in my hand. Had I been neutralised the same way the weaponmaster had neutralised the citadel?
The walls fell, and the catapults and my troops swarmed into the citadel, followed by the knight. One of the machines had an interaction button on it: I clicked it. The hermit mounted his cart and set off from my settlement, only to come to an indignant stop at the gates because I hadn't built him his stone road. I started doing that. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula had relaxed, but he was still behind me watching.
"What's happening?" said Liliana, coming in.
"I'm in the process of winning, I think," I said, completing the road. The hermit resumed his journey. There was a building near the back of the citadel that looked vaguely like the equivalent of an outpost. I sent a set of troops in to occupy it, and they did. Usually what happened then was the collapse of all the enemy buildings; this time, it took me a moment to notice that all the flags on the citadel's buildings had turned blue instead of black.
"Well done," she said, casting an uncertain glance at Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula. The hermit got to the machine, walked around it a bit, and demanded ten units of crystal. I clicked to send them.
"Actually," I said to Liliana, "Would you mind taking over? I don't actually feel too well."
"Oh dear," she said. "I thought you were looking a bit off earlier. Does that mean--"
"I'm sure I'll be able to come tonight," I said quickly. "I wouldn't miss that for the world. I think I just need some rest. I didn't, um, sleep too well."
"Or at all, from the look of you," she said. "Well, if it's okay with the boss--" We both looked at Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula: he looked surprised, but nodded. "All right, then, off you go. See you later on tonight. Get some rest."
"I will be there," I promised, and we did our swap. As I left the office, the crystal was arriving at the machine. I really didn't want to see what kind of weapon it was. I knew I'd probably have an opportunity to see it at first hand quite soon.
I collected my bike, complete with sword, and rode home, too numbed even to think. I don't remember getting up the stairs, or getting into bed; but I must have done, because when I woke up it was sunset, and I knew that even if I had been able to do anything to stop the game people, it was now far too late.
Then he offered it to me, hilt foremost. I took it. He spread his arms out, and waited.
All I had to do was push the sharp end into him. It was a sure bet he had no identification, would never be traced. Maybe he would sink into the ground the way the bodies did in the game. It was my one chance to stop this invasion. To save the planet. I couldn't understand why he was giving it to me, but I couldn't mistake his intention. There was no-one else around to stop me. All I had to do was kill him.
And I failed. Of course I did. The point of the sword drooped, and I tossed it away. It landed with a clunk on the concrete of the loading bay. He turned and trotted over to retrieve it, brought it back, and offered it to me again, this time sideways with his other hand supporting the blade. A gift. Or the price of fealty.
I took it from him, put it back in the saddlebag, and followed him, wheeling the bike, as he set off towards the mall. At a couple of points he stopped and had to cough, leaning up against a wall. I parked the bike the first time and offered him my inhaler, but he waved it away. Maybe it wouldn't work for him anyway, or maybe it would just make things worse.
He waited while I parked the bike, walked with me to the escalator, undid the shutter and opened the door of the shop. All this time my brain had been in neutral; the furious activity earlier had worn it out, it seemed. There was nothing left to think. I'd failed to save my planet from the invaders. I had come down on the wrong side. All that remained was to do my best for the side I'd chosen, and take the consequences. A crystal weapon wouldn't stand up against the kind of weapons we had in our arsenal. If the mere act of breathing our air was killing Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula, a dose of genetically engineered anthrax would probably do for him and all his friends, including me. And sooner or later we'd find the way into the game world, and then that would become just like ours. I was glad that I'd be dead long before that happened.
I switched on the computer. All I had to do now was finish the mission. Get the blue forces into the citadel, open the way for the conquest of Earth. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula stood behind me, watching me as I prepared to boot up the game. I looked up, and saw a little smile playing around his lips.
I think that did it. I got up from the chair and I let him have it. All the anger, all the fear and all the shame and betrayal came out in a spate of sheer vitriol. I don't remember much of what I actually said, I'm afraid. Just enough to know that it wasn't worth repeating. A lot of stuff came out that was nothing to do with him at all, stuff about the state of the world, about my life, about God, about everything. And the burden, the refrain if you like, was the question I'd been burning to ask since I'd followed him to the waste land. Why? Why? Why?
He stood there, listening, taking it in but not reacting at all, till I had run myself down, run out of breath and out of words and out of energy. Then he came forward and hugged me.
It was like being hugged by a child. One thing that came across quite clearly--this is hard to explain--was that he meant it. That was inescapably obvious. It wasn't a trick to disarm my anger, or anything like that. It was a genuine display of affection, of friendship, of sympathy. He might be on the point of conquering my world, but he really, truly, liked me and wanted me to feel better. And considering some of the things I'd just called him, that was quite an achievement.
When he let me go, I sat down again and got on with the game. There was nothing else I could do.
The army needed rebuilding after the battle yesterday, and I had to do it fast. I had the four ordinary catapults I'd captured, and four enhanced ones I'd been building. I decided to hold those in reserve and use them on his castle once the ordinary ones had breached the walls. My iron mines were failing again and the geologist was going to charge me the earth (ha!) but there was no choice. I paid up and off he went with his spade and his hammer to find me some more.
Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula squeezed my shoulder once, and then went into his office. I could hear Nick and taz out in the shop. Everything was back to normal. Except it wasn't. It couldn't be, ever again.
Liliana came in, pulling off her gloves, and said good morning. I said good morning back, as if it were just another ordinary day.
"What's the matter?" she said at once. So much for my skills at dissimulation.
I beckoned her closer, and she leant down over me, her hand on the back of my chair and her hair tickling my cheek. I was very conscious of incidental things like that for some reason. I started to tell her what I had discovered, and then my brain finally caught up with itself and delivered a sharp mental slap across the face. This was the last thing she needed to be bothered with at this point.
"I've done the same thing you did," I said. "Lost all my army and failed to make a dent."
"That's it?" she said. "I thought it was the end of the world for a moment. Anyway, you said there's a margin for error. You've got to be able to win the game, haven't you?"
I let her jolly me along a bit, and she went out to the shop. I carried on building up the army.
As soon as I'd achieved capacity, I set out for the red settlement, my knight leading the charge, the catapults bringing up the rear. I was functioning on autopilot again; I knew how to do this, I could do it in my sleep. The captured catapults knocked a hole in the wall, my troops surged forward and quelled all resistance, and the crystal-enhanced boulders knocked down red's castle. In another time I could barely remember, that would have been victory and the end of the game. Now it was just a step on the way to a far greater defeat.
I built an outpost on the captured territory and sent the weaponmaster to inspect the remaining weapon. He pronounced it fit for use, and there was nothing else to be done.
The weapons had to be fired in a specific order and within a specific time frame to disable the citadel's defences. I replenished the army, built two more catapults, and sent my knight to the first weapon. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula emerged from his office at that moment, almost as if he knew what was going on. Which, thinking about it, he probably did. He must have some form of communication with the game world in there.
The knight triggered the weapon, and set off for the next one at full speed. I had seconds to get to it and fire it. Meanwhile I brought the army up to the edge of the no-go zone. The knight got there, fired, and set off for the next one. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula was leaning on my chair, and I could feel that tension in him again, vibrating through the plastic. Third weapon fired, off to the fourth, the time allowed getting progressively shorter. One of my squads moved incautiously too close and got zapped: I felt a sort of queasy revulsion, looking at the burnt patch where they had been, imagining that happening to people in this world. I couldn't stop by now, though. I was an impersonal part of the process, as much as the chips in the computer I was playing on. Fourth weapon fired, off to the fifth. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula was holding his breath behind me. The timer ticked down. The knight made it to the last weapon. My hand was clammy on the mouse and I missed the button first time. The weapon fired. All the weapons on the citadel walls drooped and went silent, and another timer started to tick down. I brought my enhanced catapults up and attacked the walls, thinking of the way the sword had drooped in my hand. Had I been neutralised the same way the weaponmaster had neutralised the citadel?
The walls fell, and the catapults and my troops swarmed into the citadel, followed by the knight. One of the machines had an interaction button on it: I clicked it. The hermit mounted his cart and set off from my settlement, only to come to an indignant stop at the gates because I hadn't built him his stone road. I started doing that. Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula had relaxed, but he was still behind me watching.
"What's happening?" said Liliana, coming in.
"I'm in the process of winning, I think," I said, completing the road. The hermit resumed his journey. There was a building near the back of the citadel that looked vaguely like the equivalent of an outpost. I sent a set of troops in to occupy it, and they did. Usually what happened then was the collapse of all the enemy buildings; this time, it took me a moment to notice that all the flags on the citadel's buildings had turned blue instead of black.
"Well done," she said, casting an uncertain glance at Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula. The hermit got to the machine, walked around it a bit, and demanded ten units of crystal. I clicked to send them.
"Actually," I said to Liliana, "Would you mind taking over? I don't actually feel too well."
"Oh dear," she said. "I thought you were looking a bit off earlier. Does that mean--"
"I'm sure I'll be able to come tonight," I said quickly. "I wouldn't miss that for the world. I think I just need some rest. I didn't, um, sleep too well."
"Or at all, from the look of you," she said. "Well, if it's okay with the boss--" We both looked at Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula: he looked surprised, but nodded. "All right, then, off you go. See you later on tonight. Get some rest."
"I will be there," I promised, and we did our swap. As I left the office, the crystal was arriving at the machine. I really didn't want to see what kind of weapon it was. I knew I'd probably have an opportunity to see it at first hand quite soon.
I collected my bike, complete with sword, and rode home, too numbed even to think. I don't remember getting up the stairs, or getting into bed; but I must have done, because when I woke up it was sunset, and I knew that even if I had been able to do anything to stop the game people, it was now far too late.