The Shop, continued
Dec. 9th, 2008 10:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avevale_intelligencerIDIOT!!!!
A part of me was quite sure that the noise of my shouting at myself must be audible all the way through the mall. It concentrated on bringing the army back up to strength, repairing the enemy's depredations on the wall, and making sure nothing interfered with the smooth running of the town.
She just lost her husband and the father of her child--in a terrorist atrocity, no less--and you're going to give her a sweet ickle dwagon doll? I wonder if there's any way you could possibly be a little more pathetic?
I hadn't even thought about it. I saw it, it cheered me up, I thought it would do the same for her maybe, if only a little. I just wanted to see a smile on her face that wasn't forced.
And what gives you the right to expect her to overcome her grief so that you can feel a little better about yourself? Who the bloody hell do you think you are? What kind of useless waste of space--
Ah, we were on familiar ground. I got some variation on this every day, so much so that it had become almost comforting. I tuned the internal voice out and concentrated on the game. More soldiers, more catapults, a healer to forestall the inevitable outbreak of the galloping spon plague or whatever.
I'd take it home with me. Clear some of the CD boxes and unopened bills off the mantelpiece and put it up there. Maybe if I had something to dust I would, you know, dust occasionally. And it did look a bit like one of the soldiers from the game. Only green and dragonlike and unfeasibly cute. Not my kind of thing at all, really.
Maybe I'd take it home but keep it in the box. It might come in handy as a Christmas present for someone. All I'd need then would be someone to give a Christmas present to.
Army at full strength. No less than eight catapults, each with the new ultra crystal megaboom power. Kills ninety-nine per cent of everything, folks. Time to go.
In between the nested walls of the bandit camp were long winding roads with a couple of bandit tents at one end of each. The object was clearly to wear down the invading armies before they got to the main encampment. Well, bugger that for a tale. I positioned four catapults at either end of the walls, and started pounding away. As each section of wall gave way I targeted the tents behind it, and the explosion was enough in each case to neutralise any threat to my incoming soldiers.
There were of course lots more bandits where those came from, and the catapults could only do so much. I sent in the troops.
If I took it home and didn't take it out of the box I knew what would happen. I'd lose it. I'd lost count of the things I knew should be somewhere in that horrible little flat, that I'd put down somewhere, buried, maybe chucked out in a momentary fit of frustration at the drifts of kipple covering every flat surface, and not been able to find when the time came that I needed to.
More troops. More iron. Send the geologist back. I know the cost doubles every time, I can't help that, it's my only iron mine and I need the stuff. Not as if I'm exactly poor, in game terms at least.
If I didn't take it home, it might go missing anyway. Not that anyone on the day staff would pinch it--we were a small and close-knit enough team that we would know if one of us was a thief--but there were always the cleaners, who were on contract from the mall management company, and the twilight staff--
Oh for goodness sake. This was ridiculous. it was just a thing, a novelty item with no monetary value, well, not much anyway. The bandit outpost fell. I planted one of my own down by the entrance, and turned my attention to the mysterious building, at which point a new character appeared on the screen. I guessed, rightly, that he was the guy riding the weapons control, and he promised to teach us the secrets of his art for a sum that, even in game money, made me feel slightly ill. Still, the hermit was jumping up and down at my elbow, so I said yes and reduced myself to relative penury.
Quite honestly, if the cleaners or the twilight staff took a fancy to it they were welcome to it. If it was here tomorrow morning I'd take it back to the shop and get a refund or a spare watch battery or something. It had been a stupid impulse and I should have strangled it then and there.
The last of the bandits fell. The hermit dropped some portentous hints about us being near to the very heart of the science of the ancients. The "Victory!" banner appeared, and so did Liliana.
"That was well timed," she said. "Last mission tomorrow. Any idea what it'll be?"
"More of the same only bigger and more difficult, I expect," I said, and without thinking about it at all rescued the box from behind the computer. "I saw this at lunchtime and I thought you might like it," I said.
She darted me a suspicious look, but opened the box, and I got my wish. A completely involuntary and unforced smile dawned on her face. "Oh, he's lovely!" she exclaimed. "He looks like--"
"That's what I thought," I said.
"This isn't you being nice, is it?" she said, narrowing her eyes theatrically at me.
"Oh, no, heaven forbid," I said. "I just thought I ought to clutter up your life with something completely useless."
"Well, thank you anyway," she said. "I think he's very nice." The smile faded. "Are you still coming on Thursday?"
"Absolutely," I said. "How many of us are going? Maybe we could split a taxi--"
"Actually," she said, the light in her face dying out again, "the others were all busy. Nick's doing junior rugby tryouts, Asher's got something on, and Taz's mum won't let her go near a church. I didn't quite have the nerve to ask him." She nodded at the door of Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula's office. "So it's just you. I really appreciate you saying you'd come. I've got to have someone there I know or I'll go mad."
There were several things I could have said at this point. I settled for "Oh."
"Thank you again," she said. "And well done on the mission. I've got to go, I've got a class."
I sat there for several seconds looking at the spot where she had been before I turned and set about getting ready to go home. I wasn't sure what to make of any of this.
But the voice in the back of my head, for the first time in God knows how long, was lost for words.
A part of me was quite sure that the noise of my shouting at myself must be audible all the way through the mall. It concentrated on bringing the army back up to strength, repairing the enemy's depredations on the wall, and making sure nothing interfered with the smooth running of the town.
She just lost her husband and the father of her child--in a terrorist atrocity, no less--and you're going to give her a sweet ickle dwagon doll? I wonder if there's any way you could possibly be a little more pathetic?
I hadn't even thought about it. I saw it, it cheered me up, I thought it would do the same for her maybe, if only a little. I just wanted to see a smile on her face that wasn't forced.
And what gives you the right to expect her to overcome her grief so that you can feel a little better about yourself? Who the bloody hell do you think you are? What kind of useless waste of space--
Ah, we were on familiar ground. I got some variation on this every day, so much so that it had become almost comforting. I tuned the internal voice out and concentrated on the game. More soldiers, more catapults, a healer to forestall the inevitable outbreak of the galloping spon plague or whatever.
I'd take it home with me. Clear some of the CD boxes and unopened bills off the mantelpiece and put it up there. Maybe if I had something to dust I would, you know, dust occasionally. And it did look a bit like one of the soldiers from the game. Only green and dragonlike and unfeasibly cute. Not my kind of thing at all, really.
Maybe I'd take it home but keep it in the box. It might come in handy as a Christmas present for someone. All I'd need then would be someone to give a Christmas present to.
Army at full strength. No less than eight catapults, each with the new ultra crystal megaboom power. Kills ninety-nine per cent of everything, folks. Time to go.
In between the nested walls of the bandit camp were long winding roads with a couple of bandit tents at one end of each. The object was clearly to wear down the invading armies before they got to the main encampment. Well, bugger that for a tale. I positioned four catapults at either end of the walls, and started pounding away. As each section of wall gave way I targeted the tents behind it, and the explosion was enough in each case to neutralise any threat to my incoming soldiers.
There were of course lots more bandits where those came from, and the catapults could only do so much. I sent in the troops.
If I took it home and didn't take it out of the box I knew what would happen. I'd lose it. I'd lost count of the things I knew should be somewhere in that horrible little flat, that I'd put down somewhere, buried, maybe chucked out in a momentary fit of frustration at the drifts of kipple covering every flat surface, and not been able to find when the time came that I needed to.
More troops. More iron. Send the geologist back. I know the cost doubles every time, I can't help that, it's my only iron mine and I need the stuff. Not as if I'm exactly poor, in game terms at least.
If I didn't take it home, it might go missing anyway. Not that anyone on the day staff would pinch it--we were a small and close-knit enough team that we would know if one of us was a thief--but there were always the cleaners, who were on contract from the mall management company, and the twilight staff--
Oh for goodness sake. This was ridiculous. it was just a thing, a novelty item with no monetary value, well, not much anyway. The bandit outpost fell. I planted one of my own down by the entrance, and turned my attention to the mysterious building, at which point a new character appeared on the screen. I guessed, rightly, that he was the guy riding the weapons control, and he promised to teach us the secrets of his art for a sum that, even in game money, made me feel slightly ill. Still, the hermit was jumping up and down at my elbow, so I said yes and reduced myself to relative penury.
Quite honestly, if the cleaners or the twilight staff took a fancy to it they were welcome to it. If it was here tomorrow morning I'd take it back to the shop and get a refund or a spare watch battery or something. It had been a stupid impulse and I should have strangled it then and there.
The last of the bandits fell. The hermit dropped some portentous hints about us being near to the very heart of the science of the ancients. The "Victory!" banner appeared, and so did Liliana.
"That was well timed," she said. "Last mission tomorrow. Any idea what it'll be?"
"More of the same only bigger and more difficult, I expect," I said, and without thinking about it at all rescued the box from behind the computer. "I saw this at lunchtime and I thought you might like it," I said.
She darted me a suspicious look, but opened the box, and I got my wish. A completely involuntary and unforced smile dawned on her face. "Oh, he's lovely!" she exclaimed. "He looks like--"
"That's what I thought," I said.
"This isn't you being nice, is it?" she said, narrowing her eyes theatrically at me.
"Oh, no, heaven forbid," I said. "I just thought I ought to clutter up your life with something completely useless."
"Well, thank you anyway," she said. "I think he's very nice." The smile faded. "Are you still coming on Thursday?"
"Absolutely," I said. "How many of us are going? Maybe we could split a taxi--"
"Actually," she said, the light in her face dying out again, "the others were all busy. Nick's doing junior rugby tryouts, Asher's got something on, and Taz's mum won't let her go near a church. I didn't quite have the nerve to ask him." She nodded at the door of Zoltan-hound-of-Dracula's office. "So it's just you. I really appreciate you saying you'd come. I've got to have someone there I know or I'll go mad."
There were several things I could have said at this point. I settled for "Oh."
"Thank you again," she said. "And well done on the mission. I've got to go, I've got a class."
I sat there for several seconds looking at the spot where she had been before I turned and set about getting ready to go home. I wasn't sure what to make of any of this.
But the voice in the back of my head, for the first time in God knows how long, was lost for words.