![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avevale_intelligencerBallade of the Pixel-Stained Technopeasant:
or, I Thought They Looked Sour And Apparently I Was Right
When publishers, who never were that free
With cash, are even less inclined to pay
Unless you can avow your book will be
"Another one like Fifty Shades of Grey,"
When ghosted lives of footballers named Ray
Festoon the shelves whence all but they have fled,
I raise my eyes to heaven and I say
"I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead."
When editors on Facebook vent with glee
About the slush they wade through every day
And post advice for budding scribes to see
Which basically amounts to "Go away,"
And lists of "Twenty Rules You MUST Obey
If You Would Like Your Novel To Be Read,"
My wayward thoughts back to their burden stray:
"I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead."
When published writers higher up the tree
Bemoan the fact, with many a doleful lay,
That in pursuit of mere publicity
Their best-laid writing plans gang aft agley,
In tour or gig or puff-piece for OK!
On others' books, their precious time is sped,
Leaving no gaps for writing or for play--
I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead.
True, presently my readers number three
(And one of them my aged Auntie May),
And sometimes, when the bills are pressing me,
To treacherous doubts I fall unwilling prey.
Should I return once more unto the fray?
This limbo's surely worse than being dead.
I'll send some queries out...but not today.
I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead.
Prince, you regard us rabble with dismay
And say "If every Tom or Jane or Fred
Has got a book inside, there it should stay":
We're glad we chose self-publishing instead.
Note.--The opinions expressed in this poem do not necessarily reflect those of the management of this journal. Especially if any publishers or editors are reading. Hi there. :D
or, I Thought They Looked Sour And Apparently I Was Right
When publishers, who never were that free
With cash, are even less inclined to pay
Unless you can avow your book will be
"Another one like Fifty Shades of Grey,"
When ghosted lives of footballers named Ray
Festoon the shelves whence all but they have fled,
I raise my eyes to heaven and I say
"I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead."
When editors on Facebook vent with glee
About the slush they wade through every day
And post advice for budding scribes to see
Which basically amounts to "Go away,"
And lists of "Twenty Rules You MUST Obey
If You Would Like Your Novel To Be Read,"
My wayward thoughts back to their burden stray:
"I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead."
When published writers higher up the tree
Bemoan the fact, with many a doleful lay,
That in pursuit of mere publicity
Their best-laid writing plans gang aft agley,
In tour or gig or puff-piece for OK!
On others' books, their precious time is sped,
Leaving no gaps for writing or for play--
I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead.
True, presently my readers number three
(And one of them my aged Auntie May),
And sometimes, when the bills are pressing me,
To treacherous doubts I fall unwilling prey.
Should I return once more unto the fray?
This limbo's surely worse than being dead.
I'll send some queries out...but not today.
I'm glad I chose self-publishing instead.
Prince, you regard us rabble with dismay
And say "If every Tom or Jane or Fred
Has got a book inside, there it should stay":
We're glad we chose self-publishing instead.
Note.--The opinions expressed in this poem do not necessarily reflect those of the management of this journal. Especially if any publishers or editors are reading. Hi there. :D
no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 03:38 pm (UTC)Ee-ay, ee-ay; Ay-ed, ay-ed...
Damn, boy, you don't make life easy for yourself, do you? =:o}
no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 07:50 pm (UTC)