The Lost Goats, 31 (to general relief)

The room in which the two prisoners were being kept was, of course, never left unguarded. Two well-armed individuals were stationed outside, under strict orders not to talk to the prisoners, and in the event of a breakout, to hold each other at gunpoint and threaten to fire. This was a job that required a very specific type of person, one who could take orders and carry them out unquestioningly, one unburdened by unnecessary intellectual yearnings or aspirations, one whose thoughts were characterised by, if nothing else, scarcity value; in short...a thug. In this case, two.

"'Ere, Gav, you know that old saying about how it's unlucky to look at the new moon through glass?"

"I am cognisant of the maxim in question, Zev."

"Well, what about if you got glasses?"

Some seconds of deep cogitation. "I would say under those circumstances, Zev, you're basically stuffed."

"'Cos you can't not look at the moon through glass then, can you?"

"No, I did apprehend your drift, Zev. I can quite see that people in spectacles would be predestined for a life either of ill fortune, or of looking at their shoes a lot. The only thing that would tend to mitigate this dire augury is the fact that it's a load of superstitious tosh."

"Oh yeah." Pause for thought. "'Ere, astronomers would be buggered and all, wouldn't they?"

"Frequently, I should imagine...though there was one eminent professor who found that a drop of water, suspended in a pinhole, acted as a very satisfactory lens."

"What happened to him?"

"He attempted to construct a sixteen-inch telescope along the same lines, and drowned, poor devil."

"Poor devil."

"Mind you, he had only himself to blame."

"Why's that Gav?"

"He'd just picked up his first pair of glasses."

"Just goes to show..." Pause. "Science isn't as easy as it looks, is it?"

At which point, the stone Soren had balanced on the fire escape tipped, dislodging the dustbin lids, and startling the cat who had been peacefully dozing in one of the dustbins. The general effect was of imminent apocalypse, with added marching bands.

Both guards hurried to the window to see what was transpiring. Behind them, a shadow slipped past, opened the door, and froze.

"Hello," said Didache sanFulminarium.

"I didn't know you were back," Soren managed.

*

Zander abruptly stood up.

"Best out of five hundred and nineteen?" Adhemar asked.

"I think I need to take a little walk," Zander said.

"Can I--"

"No."