Song

Let our battle cry be sounded,
Kill the myth!
In our quest on science founded,
Kill the myth!
Where beliefs are held untested,
Where pure reason's light is failing,
Where blind fools, their growth arrested,
Crouch before their idols quailing,
Stride we boldly to the vanguard
From Saqqara to Penrith,
Though the ancient gods be angered--
Kill the myth!

Tutankhamun's crawling horror?
That's a myth!
Blighted Sodom and Gomorrah?
It's a myth!
Is the Lost Ark crated somewhere?
Will King Arthur come again?
Did the flying saucers come where
There are circles in the grain?
Let us strip away the mystery
From each mound and megalith,
Burn the legends out of history--
Kill the myth!

Are there tunnels under Giza?
It's a myth!
Portents marked the death of Caesar?
That's a myth!
Every true historian winces
When the hackneyed lies are chorused,
How King Richard killed the princes,
How bold Robin roamed the forest.
For these fables are no truer
Than Skywalker and the Sith.
But we have a certain cure--
Kill the myth!

Some say history would be boring
Without myth.
Facts and figures leave them snoring,
They want myth.
We discard such idle notions,
We abhor such spurious glory,
And, suppressing all emotions,
We remove all trace of story.
Those who would the truth embellish,
Priests and cranks and all their kith,
For such scum our wrath is hellish--
Kill the myth!

And with snark and sneer and snigger
We will battle to the dith (sic)
Till the flood of fact and figure
Kills the myth.

And with insults highly polished
We will cruelly take the pith
Till all legends are abolished--
KILL THE MYTH!!!

(Scansion based on a Chesterton poem. Tune will probably not be found, for the sake of a quiet life.)

Another song

A long one this,and one that might well get longer if I can find more things ending in olly. Tune is, again, something like the old Housewives' Choice music, but not quite.

I am your supermarket trolley,
Wouldn't it be jolly
If you were to fill me up to bursting?
I know that for a bargain you are thirsting,
Well, follow me, just walk this way, we've avocadoes cheap today,
You really needn't worry, there isn't any hurry,
Just dawdle by the bedding for a while.
A pillow or a duvet, there's something here to covet
In every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
To leave now would be folly,
You haven't even looked at all the cookware
And here we've got the very latest book, where
A princess weds a lowly lout and maxes all her plastic out.
This morning on the deli, we've custard pies and jelly,
If you mix them up they look completely vile.
But the pastries are exquisite, so come along and visit
Every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
Why not pick up some holly?
Now I realise it's only just September,
But before you put it back you should remember
That Christmas comes but once a year, the mistletoe is over here.
We've chocolates and candy, a special deal on brandy,
And greeting cards to make your granny smile.
So what could be more pleasant than to find a Christmas present
In every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
Oh, it's raining--buy a brolly!
Or perhaps you'd like a multicoloured parka
With day-glo bits to shine when it gets darker
(When out at night wear something bright, some trainers with a flashing light),
And if the weather's foul you could use a fluffy towel
And some shower gel that pongs of camomile.
We can tell if you are smelly on our new closed circuit telly
In every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
You've still got lots of lolly,
So trundle me along and have a nice dream,
And if you buy some Continental ice cream,
Our loyalty card will give you points that you can spend on Sunday joints.
We've plenty here for pickin', there's lamb or beef or chicken,
To feed your friends and relatives in style.
If a fancy meal you're planning, you can find it all by scanning
Every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
Your daughter needs a dolly
And your little boy is getting quite excited
About the latest kit from Man United,
And if he wants to add some boots, we're bound to have a pair that suits.
There's patterned tights and knickers, and Hello Kitty stickers,
Or a clock with Edward Cullen on the dial.
For purest retail pleasure, you ought to take the measure
Of every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
I'm nearly full, by golly,
But there's room for smaller items in the corners.
You know there's really nothing as forlorn as
A trolley with some space to spare, and nothing in but empty air.
Some wine from Vallombrosa, a vegetable samosa,
Or a china cat to grace your domicile.
Your nerves may well unravel, but you're duty bound to travel
Down every single cotton-picking aisle!

I am your supermarket trolley,
Some olive oil (Bertolli),
And yes, I think there's no more space to fill now.
So take a breath and push me to the till now.
I hope you brought your cards along, you won't get this for just a song.
And now you've paid what's owing, it's time that you were going.
I hope you feel I've gone the extra mile.
Look for me when you return here, 'cause I've got my keep to earn here
In every single cotton-picking aisle!