Shedding the shed

There's an apple tree down in Westbury
Where the Nyrond makes his bed (not in the apple tree, of course, that would be silly)
And beneath its shade there were flagstones laid
And upon them stood a Shed.

It was six foot wide from side to side
Its height was just five feet;
It was made from green polyethylene
With a metal frame complete.

It was cramped and low, with no window,
And the door was coming away,
But it held our tools and strimmer spools
For many a summer's day.

Then the Countess said "Get rid of the Shed!"
And the Nyrond he did try,
But each bolt and nut was rusted shut
He was unable to comply.

He undid the roof, but the walls were proof
Against all his sweat and strain,
So for ten years more that foul eyesore
Unconquered did remain.

The Countess's ire it burned like fire,
Took the Nyrond down a peg,
And she said her plan was to hire a man
Though the cost be arm and leg.

So the Nyrond swore he would buy a saw
And he went to B & Q,
And he made a trade for a saw and blade
For he thought one blade would do.

He began with zeal to divide the steel,
But before he'd made stroke three
The blade went SNAP and a cry of "Crap!"
Echoed under the apple tree.

Now all arrayed with a stronger blade
He resumes his arduous chore;
Soon half the Shed is dismemberèd
And the bits lie on the floor.

At the next daybreak, though his limbs did ache,
Not a second did he waste,
But took each lump to the local dump
To recycle them in haste.

Now the rest of the Shed in fear and dread
Awaits its grisly fate,
And the ground is free 'neath the apple tree
From the fence to the garden gate.

And the Nyrond's face (a ghastly place)
Is bathed in a righteous glow,
But the Countess sighs, as she rolls her eyes;
"He should have done it ten years ago."

In other news, while I was ferrying the bits to the dump this morning, Jan clipped as much as she could reach from her chair of the front hedge, and this afternoon we fished crud out of the pond and discovered that we do still have at least three frogs (who probably preferred it the way it was). Hopefully there weren't any tadpoles among the dead leaves and exploded apples we netted.

We make progress.