Song

Down in Cardiff there's a man
Who's working night and day
To keep the British public entertained.
He's doing all he can
But as he slaves away
It's clear to see his output
Is growing rather strained.
We really feel it's time he took a rest
So we're sending him this message, with our best...

Please, Mr Moffat,
It's time you took a break.
The writing works much better
If you do it while awake.
The stress of creativity
Has taken its toll on you
So please, Mr Moffat,
Step away from Doctor Who.

Back when Russell left the show
A change was overdue.
Though production values were extremely slick,
The emphasis on ro-
Mance, fun when it was new,
Had begun to make even seasoned fans
Feel more than slightly sick.
So we looked to you with hope of something more,
But what we got was just "the mixture, as before"...

So please, Mr Moffat,
Diversify your career,
This job must be depriving us
Of many a fine idea.
Develop other properties
Like maybe Tintin 2
And please, Mr Moffat,
Step away from Doctor Who!

Please, Mr Moffat,
Your welfare's our concern.
Your candle's just a pool of wax
There's nothing left to burn.
Perhaps an early retirement
Is something to pursue,
But your plottin'
Has gone rottin
And your pacing
Needs replacing
And your characters have the piquancy
Of a long-abandoned stew--
So please, Mr Moffat,
Whatever you're on, get off it,
And please Mr Moffat,
Step away from Doctor Who
(And also Sherlock)
Step away from Doctor Who
(Give us more Jekyll)
Step away...
From Doc...tor...Who!