the-alchemist.livejournal.com ([identity profile] the-alchemist.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] avevale_intelligencer 2011-06-25 08:57 am (UTC)

My experiences aren't as clear cut as yours, but I definitely used to go too far with being honest about my feelings and it did cause woe and misery. I think there's a level of moderation to find, and it isn't either always keeping silent or always saying something.

One thing to bear in mind is that everyone has a fairly clear cut idea of how honest about their feelings each of their friends is. This means that if you're not generally that open about negative feelings, and the suddenly you say something that is, people will be much more shocked and upset than if you are a person who is habitually open about them. This is because they think: "wow, if even [livejournal.com profile] smallship1 is willing to say he's angry with me, it must be REALLY bad". Whereas if it was me they'd be more inclined to say: "oh, ok, it's [livejournal.com profile] the_alchemist saying one of those things she quite often says."

This means that after a few months of being (moderately, circumspectly) open about your negative feelings, people would get used to it and you would start finding the positive as well as the negative consequences.

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting