When someone points the J'accuse finger and says "patronizing" over something in writing, I cringe. Just my opinion, but I don't think text carries enough inflection to know patronizing from pedantic from awkwardly saying you see the other point of view.

There are no nuances about this one
There are so many nuances it hurts my brain to consider them. Were men and women biologically equal, there would be no nuances. But we aren't. Just one example: Men who marry each other and wish to have child and women who marry each other and wish to have a child have a different set of nuances from a man and a woman who marry each other and wish to have a child. There are ways to reconcile the nuances, but to deny they exist?

Should we really all be equal under the law? I wonder. My neighborhood passed a law which required all the street corners to be modified to have ramps, so people in wheel chairs could safely cross the street. One could argue that this treats people in wheel chairs as equal because it provides equal access, or one could argue that it gives special treatment to people in wheel chairs. I'm for giving special treatment to people if it provides them with equal access. But I don't think that's treating them equally under the law.