Now I haven't read much of what you've posted, and I'm currently up to my eyes in critiques for Milford but, if you want a full, brutal pro-level crit on this (plus suggestions of where - if - it might sell), I could give it a go.

No promises as to when (or to be honest if) I'll find time, and (I say again) my crits are notoriously harsh, but if that hasn't put you off and you want to email me a copy, I'll try and have a read at some point.