Feb. 2nd, 2017

avevale_intelligencer: (bitmoji)
A LOADSCREEN MADE ME DO IT

TTTO: "Abdul the Bulbul Amir"

Oh, the horses of Skyrim are hardy and strong
And built for endurance, not speed,
But the stoutest of all, as you'll hear in this song,
Was Dudley, the Dovahkiin's steed.

When the dragons returned, as the Scrolls did foretell,
They ravaged the land near and far,
But the worst was a beast with a heart straight from hell,
The dragon they called Sisboombah.

To the snow-covered slopes of the Throat of the World
To the steps that approach High Hrothgar
Flew a menacing form as the snow flurries whirled--
The dragon they called Sisboombah.

And a figure forlorn and foreshortened she spied
And her jaw clenched in hunger and greed.
Standing there till his master was ready to ride--
'T was Dudley, the Dovahkiin's steed.

All unknowing, the Dragonborn loitered within
While the Greybeards were teaching him DAH.
There was no-one but Dudley to save his own skin
From the dragon they called Sisboombah.

Down she swooped from the clouds like a wolf on the fold
And prepared on roast horseflesh to feed,
For he made her mouth water, more even than gold,
Did Dudley, the Dovahkiin's steed.

But it watered so much that it put out her flame
Which caused her a terrible jar;
When her Shout petered out she was wracked with the shame,
The dragon they called Sisboombah.

So she veered off in haste and then circled around,
On her quarry she got a clear bead--
When the heavens above were convulsed with a sound
From Dudley, the Dovahkiin's steed.

It was only one word, but his Thu'um was true,
And his talent was well over par;
It was “NEH,” which means “never,” a concept quite new
To the dragon they called Sisboombah.

She lost all control and she fell from the sky,
On the landscape she left quite a scar,
And the folk round about came to kiss her goodbye--
The dragon they called Sisboombah.

But the Greybeards had heard, and came out of their doors
To find this new student in need,
But to their amazement, saw only a horse--
'T was Dudley, the Dovahkiin's steed.

Now the Dragonborn works up at Mixwater Mill
And damns the entire equine breed,
But the Greybeards are teaching a Dovahkiin still—
'T is Dudley, the Dovahkiin Steed!

Minimal explanation: Skyrim has loading screens which carry snippets of information about the game world, and one of them begins "The horses of Skyrim are hardy and strong..." Well, I mean. Asking for it or what? "Dovahkiin" means "Dragonborn," an epithet applied to the protagonist, who learns from the mysterious Greybeards in High Hrothgar how to Shout Words of Power in the language of dragons, who all have names composed, like Shouts, of three such Words. I'm not sure what "Sisboombah" would mean in Draconic, but "Bah" means "wrath," so we're in the right sort of territory.

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